Kick Sabotage to the Curb

What’s really going on when you want more money, success, fulfillment and health, and it’s just not coming to fruition? Sure, it could be due to some bad habits or lack of focus and strategy, but in my work, which is getting people to their physical, mental and emotional best, I’ve found that it’s often something much more primal, subconscious and protective.

Let’s start with change. Change is scary. It leads to new awareness and perspective, posing a huge threat to what’s become comfortable and familiar—even if what’s been comfortable and familiar stinks.

Change puts us at a fork in the road and can make us feel almost as if we’re facing a sort of death regardless of which way we turn. You face either the death of what you just realized you want, or the death of who you’ve been, now that you’re ready to become someone new. Change requires making a decision, and that decision can often shake us up, as well as those around us. As if that weren’t frightening enough, warning signs are going off internally, and the stress response creates a cascade of stress-related conditions, illness or disease.

It’s so much easier to put change on the back burner of your mind or stay numb through drugs, alcohol, food, work and even TV. You just want to keep those feelings down, but they keep coming back up.

Change Brings Up Issues

Going back to what you know—and sabotaging success—seems to be a better and much safer option. Yes, it keeps you from growing, but you also feel it may keep you safe because your head is swirling with questions such as:

Will these changes lead to losing job security or friends?
Will you hear how crazy or selfish you are?
Will you have to deal with judgment or criticism at the same time you’re dealing with your own doubt about achieving goals?

These are big questions. Thinking is hard. Being honest about what you want is hard. Change is even harder.

Because these questions can impact so much of your life and create a domino effect, you try to do everything you can to make the feelings go away…until you can’t.

Focus on Rewards

There’s often a moment where the pain of staying where you are becomes greater than the fear of the unknown. You’re standing on the edge, ready to jump without the security of knowing there’s something to catch your fall. Even with that, it’s a sacred and deeply personal moment when you make a decision that the risks are great, but the rewards can be so much greater.

The fear and self-doubt may still be there, but you push through the sabotage because you know you’re meant to be, do and have more. You’ve woken up and may have realized it’s your time; after sleepwalking for way too long, you’re ready to make the impact that only you can make. You realize that you have a special talent, gift, strength or calling. You have something unique to share and can’t share it without moving forward.

It’s like you’re on a trapeze. You see your partner on the other swing, and are terrified…but you swing anyway. You grab their hands, heart pounding. You know what you’re supposed to do and that you can’t glide forward without letting go of where you are. Once you make the decision to let go and move forward, you’re on to the next chapter of your life. Now you’re inspired.

Let Inspiration Take Over

Motivation and momentum got it started, and now inspiration has taken over. You burst right through your comfort zone, where life begins. It’s the ultimate drug because you’re high on your growth and the impact it’s having on you and those around you, and it fuels you even further.

You’re different now. You look different because you want to take better care of yourself. You sound more empowered, positive and confident. You have more energy because now you’re being fueled by your ideas, mission and potential.

You realize it’s possible to do great things.
You realize you can make a difference.
You realize you have something important to contribute.
You love who you’re becoming while kicking sabotage to the curb.

Debi Silber, MS, RD, WHC, FDN, is founder of The Mojo Coach. Silber is a popular speaker, author and counselor who recently delivered a Tedx Talk on personal change. She spoke at the Smart Meetings event in New Orleans earlier this year and also contributes wellness news to FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, Forbes and The Huffington Post. Sign up to receive her “20 Insider Secrets to Achieving Your Ultimate Lifestyle” by visiting